I have hit the proverbial brick wall. There is work to be done and I cannot do it. I don’t have the heart to play with the kids on Delmas 91. I can’t sleep at night unless I take sleeping pills. I can count on one hand the number of times that I have really laughed since the quake. G has to force me to eat because I am not hungry. I keep picking up rocks and having an insatiable urge to throw them, hard. I feel myself starting to cry constantly.
It is time to get out. Time to go to a safe haven and let myself cry, let myself process, let myself recover. I don’t want to leave G and Delmas 91 but if I don’t, what good am I to anyone? People keep reminding me that this is not a sprint; it is a marathon. And this marathon runner needs to take a break if she intends to finish the race.
I will arrive in Boston on Saturday. I will be happy to receive calls and visits after Saturday. Please email me (kezgho@yahoo.com) to schedule visits or to get my phone number if you don’t already have it.
I appreciate your prayers at this time. In some ways, it is the hardest thing I have done yet.
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5 comments:
Kez,
Are there restrictions on what you can bring back with you into the country upon your return? Baggage or weight limits?
Bandages,adhesive tape,iodine,
batteries,antibiotic ointments,gloves...please give us all an idea of how we can help you on a very personal level. Cash?
Of course you need a break. Sounds like the beginning of PTSD symptoms, if you ask me...
I hope you can take this time to rest and process and recuperate, so that you can return to finish the marathon of work that is still ahead.
Let your family embrace you with love and attention. God remains with you and your friends in Haiti. Please take every gift offered to you, to help you heal your heart, and gain strength and perspective. Haiti will be grateful when you return, but not impatient for your arrival. Can my kids write letters to the children in Haiti? They would be delighted to gather toys and books to send down. Let us know. God bless you and all those you love and care for.
You've done a lot and the immediate emergency is past. You have to take care of yourself. You're making the right decision and the responsible decision, even if it doesn't feel like it.
... except the part where you're going to Boston and you are going to freeze to death in the snow. That's what happens in Boston, right?
Kez, you're doing the right thing. We love you.
Julie&Kenny&A&M
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