Yesterday, we worked on Vanesse for an hour and 15 minutes, soaking her burns and removing all the dead skin. It required rough scrubbing and she was screaming and writhing the entire time. We were able to remove everything, and the tissue looked pretty good underneath. Today, though, it wasn't looking as red and healthy as I would like. I have never cared for a burn like this before and I honestly do not know what I'm doing, so we are going to drive out to Titayen tomorrow morning where our friend Cheryl runs a burn clinic. Hopefully she can give me some guidance and show me some techniques.
I hate doing this burn. I can't look Vanesse in the eyes because her pain and her fear are so evident. I am covered in sweat and sick to my stomach after an hour of scraping open burns as she tries desperately to get off the table and away from me. If only I knew for sure that I was doing the right thing, it would be easier to make her suffer so, but as it is, I walk away from the table with a splitting headache every time. I love being a nurse and part of me is perfectly willing to do it, but my head hurts.